Firsts

Sometimes people make some boneheaded comments when they find out you're adopting. Most folks, even the most wonderful, have a hard time making polite conversation about subjects that make them uncomfortable...and somewhere in human history, the subject of adoption has come to rank alongside such pleasant topics for public conversation as death, divorce, incurable disease, and sex. Complicating things for us is Ali, "Yes, she's ours...biologically."

At some point in the past few years, someone said something to Rachel along the lines of, "Aren't you sad about all the 'firsts' that you'll miss by adopting a toddler?" This individual was surely talking about such traditional firsts as first laugh, first smile, first steps, first words, etc. To give them the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure they weren't trying to be idiotic and insulting, but let's face it, there's really no good way to take such a question. Personally I'll rank it right up there with the unfortunate but all too often overheard funeral comment, "They did such a good job on him." What the heck does that mean, anyway? But I digress...

Since we've had some time to think about this comment, Rachel and I were not long ago discussing a list of 'firsts' that we'd get to experience and share with our son, including:

• First smile (for us, anyway)
• First words...in English
• First time to fly in an airplane
• First time to see the ocean
• First pets
• First room of his own
  
• Etc.

After going to Ukraine and seeing how the orphans lived (which really wasn't too bad, all things considered), a few items have made the list that I wouldn't have thought of:

• First yogurt (you've seen the pictures)
  
• First nap in mommy's arms (you've seen this, too)
  
• First time to sleep in an air-conditioned room (no really, it happened on Friday, Aug 10th)
• First time to run barefooted in the grass (sandals only in UA)
• First doughnuts
• First time to catch toads in the back yard (we've got a yard full)
• First Thanksgiving (forgot this totally American holiday)

Oh, yes, and let's not forget the obvious one...first family. Looks like we've a lot to look forward to!